Men and Monsters
by Aneeta Potter
Summary: Kirk's never really come to terms with the mess of his life before Starfleet, opting instead to ignore it. But when (one of) his childhood monsters reappears his past slams into the present.
1. War Criminals

**A/N: This story takes place after Into Darkness. There is a prequel to it entitled Splinters, but you don't have to have read it to understand this story. Warnings for mentions of torture, child abuse, Tarsus IV, violence and some bad language. **

Men and Monsters

War Criminals

The screen is filled with a face that is branded into Jim's memory, a scarred burn against his sleep as painful as the actual brand was against his flesh, that mark imposed on his skin but left afterwards; as a reminder of all that was lost from that man, and all that he could not take. It is face that watched as he was held down, that smiled as he screamed, that looked upon people as numbers and values.

Jim has thought of that face almost every single day since he was fourteen years old. Whenever he cannot sleep, he imagines his fist against it. He has always thought, deep down, that Kodos (because what other face would haunt his dreams?) was probably dead. The body was found burnt, unrecognisable to any, but it was still a body. And yet here Kodos stands, looking older but virtually unchanged, on his screen.

Jim knows he cannot afford to lose it. This conversation is being broadcast ship wide. His entire crew is watching him, without a clue of exactly what this man means to him. And Kodos means a lot to Kirk – if he is alive, Jim is going to kill him. He once promised Kodos that he would do it, and he has always regretted that he didn't. Now he can.

He cannot afford to lose it…

"Hello Kirk," Kodos says, and that voice is rich with so many memories. _Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. Your lives mean slow death to the more valued members of the colony. Therefore, I have no alternative but to sentence you to death._ "Or should I call you Captain Kirk?"

"If we're going with titles than I guess you can call me captain and I'll call you the executioner," Kirk says, after a beat that is longer than his usual pause, but unnoticeable to all those excluding those who know him well (so most people on the bridge). He is proud when his voice does not shake.

"Oh James," Kodos says, causing Kirk to stiffen (because that same silky tone said that same word so many years ago, followed by more pain then he had ever imagined was possible). "I've missed you." Then Kodos laughs, like this whole thing is some kind of joke.

"Why are you in contact with the Enterprise? What is your intent? How are you broadcasting this ship wide?" Kirk asks, in quick succession, keeping his expression neutral. He can pretend that this is not personal. "As a suspected war criminal I advise you to give yourself over to this ship, where you will be transported back to Earth to face trial."

"I chose the Enterprise because of you, James. I need something from Starfleet, and I thought you would be a good person to ask." Kodos acts like this is obvious, like Jim is missing the whole point of things.

"We don't tend to negotiate with war criminals," Kirk spits out, not even bothering to hide the venom.

"You will. You see, what I want is very simple. Starfleet will get me a new identity, and stop looking for me. I need surgery so nobody will recognise me," Kodos demands.

"What do you mean stop looking? Everyone thought you were dead." Kirk asks, confused.

"Is that what they told you?" Kodos laughs, menacingly. "They probably felt that if you knew I had escaped you wouldn't be able to move on. I would have thought that they'd let you in on the secret when you joined Starfleet. I guess they just don't trust you." This little fact makes Jim want to shut his eyes and sit in a dark corner for a few hours (because Starfleet lied, lied, lied and failed him like they did all those years ago and how could he have expected anything else?), but he cannot act hurt when he has a ship to run and this to deal with.

"If Starfleet are searching for you, what makes you think we'd stop?" Kirk settles on, which he thinks makes it seem as though he isn't upset by Starfleet's lack of trust in him.

"I have both a carrot and a stick." Kodos looks smug.

"Enlighten me," Kirk snaps.

"The carrot is information. I have information about the Klingons that you will find useful."

"Where did you obtain this information?" Spock asks from beside Kirk, because of course whether or not there is actual information matters to the Vulcan, when all that matters to Kirk is Kodos being dead on the ground like the children left outside to rot and the whole families slaughtered in the square.

"That would be telling. But I assure you, it is valid."

"What makes you think that some information would be worth the trade off?" Kirk counters, anger heavy in his voice.

"I haven't told you about the stick yet." Kodos points out. Jim doesn't respond, because he needs to count to ten inside his head to stop him from screaming. When no words are spoken, Kodos continues. "If you do not comply with my demands then I will release the fact that I'm alive to the public. Imagine the scandal! Starfleet lied to everyone, including the victims. And just to sensationalise it I'll tell everybody all about what happened on Tarsus, in detail. Won't the press have a field day when they hear some of the stories?"

"You would not have the capacity to carry out this threat if you were in the custody of Starfleet," Spock remarks, voice even.

"I've made recordings. They will be released if you don't comply with my demands." Kodos is still smug, like he has considered every eventuality. "I'll give you a little taster, to ensure you know I'm serious. Specially dedicated to the entire crew of the Enterprise. I'll tell you one of my many stories about James T Kirk."

Kirk feels his blood freeze. He wants to say something, anything, so stop this. But he can't make himself move.

"You all look at your captain like he's some kind of leader, a hero. You think he's so brave. But I've seen him crying and begging for death. I remember when we first got him and he had this tough expression on his face, and then it just crumpled. You know what number he was on the list? 7302. He was the 7302th person on my list of colonists in order of importance. That easily put him on the list to die. You think he's so great, but he couldn't even make it onto the half of the colonists that were necessary for survival! He was a piece of delinquent scum back then, and he still is; people don't change. He was 7032 then and he's 7032 now. I suppose you got the number removed, James?" Kodos taunts, looking down at Kirk like a he is prey. Kirk does not respond; he just glares. Kodos carries on, addressing the rest of the Enterprise again. "We held him down and branded him, marked him with what he was worth. You should have seen him scream and thrash as the room filled with the smell of burning flesh. He was crying and begging like-"

"I didn't get it removed." Kirk's voice is low and deadly. He has finally stopped the verbal onslaught against him, finally managed to speak. "I kept it. It's still an ugly fucking scar, and I often cover it up with cream. But not always." He rolls his shirt up slightly, without looking down, perhaps not even aware that he is doing it. Beneath the gold his skin is marred by the promised scar, faded but still present (because, honestly, something like that never leaves you whether or not the physical evidence is there or not); 7302. Kirk rubs the numbers almost affectionately, because they mean so much more to him then the pain caused when they were imposed on his skin and soul. Then Kirk gets the same predatory look on his face as Kodos has, and the next words he utters make everyone shiver slightly. "I'm going to kill you. I told you all those years ago, and I meant it. Fuck any deal you want to make. I will end you."

Kirk nods to Uhura and she cuts the transmission immediately, her face a picture of concern. Kirk barely registers it. There is that smell, the stench of death that permeates everything, and he can't breathe and there is no air and no air and God why is he still alive how is he still alive and why and his whole body hurts and his skin is tingling and where is the air there is no air…

"Calm down, Kirk." A soft voice says in his ear. He realises he is on the ground, on his knees, arms against the floor; his body a bridge that has crumpled due to wear and time and storms. He inhales deeply, trying to maintain control over himself. He cannot bear to look up at the bridge crew, now that they have seen him like this. He doesn't want any pity. He realises Uhura has her arm around him, and he is grateful for the unthreatening contact. He wants to move, to stand up and show he isn't weak, but he just needs a minute to pull himself back into the present.

When he finally stands, he realises his eyes are damp. He wipes the tears away, quickly, in shame. Then he finally allows himself to look at the rest of his bridge crew. He is glad McCoy is down in medical still, and didn't see him lose it. No doubt the doctor will be here as soon as he finishes the scheduled surgery he is undertaking.

The bridge crew are all watching him. But there is no pity in their faces. Instead they look angry, protective and determined. Like they are feeling the exact same thing as Kirk – aka let's go get this bastard.

"I am trawcing his signal, Captain." Chekov says, brave enough to speak up first. "Ve vill have him extwemely soon."

"Thank you Chekhov." Jim manages, although speaking is like sprinting up a hill with a rucksack full of bricks.

"It is unlikely that he is hiding," Spock observes. Kirk thinks he can detect the slightest bit of anger in his first officers tone, as though a little bit of emotion has made its way through. "For Starfleet to comply with his demands he must communicate with Starfleet at a higher level, and be transported back to Earth. The Enterprise is a logical choice for such action. Perhaps he believes that your emotional issues surrounding him will infringe on your judgement and cause you to resign your commission, allowing him to return on a disorganised ship. He broadcast ship wide to protect himself from any vindictive actions that you may secretly partake in. He assumes the crew will not be behind you, as you have not shared your past. This is a misjudgement. We are all behind you, captain."

"I'm emotionally compromised." Kirk manages, stating the obvious. He has no idea how Spock ran the ship when he felt this way, when he had just lost his planet and his mother.

"Never the less, it is illogical for you to resign command, as this was likely the plan of Kodos. Alternatively I suggest you allow yourself to calm down, and allow us to help you. You do not need to face Kodos. I will unofficially and temporarily retain command, if that is preferable to the official alternative for you?" Spock asks, and the warmth that that statement brings washes some of the ice away. Spock is willing to ignore regulation for him – for the Vulcan that's like a declaration of love. For a second Kirk remembers the moment, in the radiation chamber, when he saw the genuine affection that Spock felt for him.

"That is preferable, Spock. Thank you." Kirk says with a slight smile at his first officer. He hopes the incredible gratitude he is feeling comes through. "First though, can I check: is it possible to beam him directly onto the ship?" Kirk asks, not saying that name because even forming the word fills him with dread.

"Aye, captain." Chekov confirms.

"Then let's beam him onto the Enterprise, for transport back to Earth." Kirk says, in what he hopes is a commanding tone. He needs to set things in motion before Spock takes over.

"You just threatened to kill him, Kirk." Uhura says, still concerned. She knows him too well, and can tell when he isn't bluffing. "You sounded like you meant it."

"I'm not going to kill him Uhura. I'm going to go and have a sleep as soon as he is safe on this ship, and leave Spock in charge until we get that bastard off the Enterprise and back to Earth." Kirk says, as earnestly as possible. He thinks she believes him; or maybe she just wants to.

Kirk sits back in his chair in silence, alone with his thoughts, as the bridge crew work around him. He has to keep reminding himself to breathe. In a few hours, Kodos will be dead, and he can finally move on from the main horror of his childhood. As promised, Spock takes the lead, essentially running the ship, while Kirk just sits back and calms himself down. When he feels less light headed he takes out his padd and starts to make plans.

"Captain, Kodos is secured in the brig. We've plotted a course back to Earth." Sulu eventually says, looking at him searchingly. Kirk is touched that he is being kept in the loop. He likes this unofficial arrangement.

"Let's get going then." Kirk confirms, keeping his face blank, although really he supposes Spock should make the order.

"Do you wish to inform the crew of developments?" Spock asks, not at all put out.

"I… could someone else do it?" Kirk asks, looking up at Spock hopefully. His first officer understands immediately and nods, before going to perform the task.

"This is Commander Spock. We have beamed suspected war criminal Governor Kodos on board this ship, after he initiated communications with Starfleet. We are currently returning to Earth in order to deliver him into Starfleet custody. We should arrive at Earth in approximately seven hours. Please continue performing your duties."

"I'm going to go and sleep. Spock, you have the conn. Please just… just give me a while. I need some time. I'll be in my quarters." Kirk says, trying to look tired. His heart is pounding. He knows his crew will not allow him to carry out his plans, that they would not understand this need for revenge. Or maybe they would understand, but they would certainly not endorse it.

He is just getting to the door when Bones rushes in, panting heavily. Crap, he forgot about the doctor.

"Jim! Thank God."

"I'm alright Bones," Kirk says with exaggerated weariness, trying to inch past. "I'm just going to get some sleep."

"Don't move Jim," McCoy says, and the doctor just looks so tired.

"It is logical for the captain to rest after a draining experience," Spock says from behind him, looking over at McCoy in confusion.

"No. You don't understand," Bones says wearily, "He's going to kill Kodos."

**What did you think? Please leave me a review letting me know your opinion – I would really appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed it, anyway. I'll try to update as soon as possible. **


	2. Desperate Plans

Desperate Plans

Jim bolts for the door. He isn't really thinking, he is just aiming to get to Kodos as quickly as possible so he can beat him to death with his bare hands. But he doesn't even make it out of the bridge. Bones, who unfortunately knows Jim better than anyone, senses his intent and tackles him to the ground, both of them flying backwards across the floor. Jim tries to push Bones off but the doctor has him pinned down. Kirk writhes up and easily flips Bones over, reversing their positions. Now he is holding McCoy down.

"Jim. It's not worth it," Bones pants, and the man looks so damn exhausted that Jim freezes for a second. "You'll lose the Enterprise. You may even go to jail. Don't let him take anything else from you."

"He already took everything Bones! I can't let him live. Please just let me do this. Please. Please." Kirk implores, eyes dazed and confused, because he has to make them understand that this is the most important thing in the world (or is it, because there is this strange tiny voice at the back of his mind that agrees with the doctor).

"You don't have to kill him."

"I do! Don't you get it? I promised. I promised myself. That man is a monster." Kirk breathes in deeply, trying to make his speech less slurred and clearer (because everything he is feeling has built up and is draining him of the capacity to think and speak and act). They have to understand. "That man ordered for four thousand people to be massacred. That man ordered for me to be tortured. That man told his guards to whip me and hurt me and he…he… God, Bones. He's been free all this time. All this time…" Kirk's voice cracks, but he just doesn't care. All he cares about is that man being dead.

"I know. I know Jim."

"All this time. They didn't tell me! Utter bastards! They didn't think I could handle it!"

"You can't handle it, Jim." Bones says rather sadly.

"Oh God." Kirk chokes out. Then he starts to sob. He likes to keep things inside, but now the utter fury and pain and loss he is feeling is escaping. And that is how Jim Kirk ends up sobbing on the floor of his bridge, his face pressed in to Bones, Uhura with her arms around him. He doesn't care what people think, he just can't stop himself. Eventually the sobs slow and he pulls himself out of the past.

"I can't let you do this. I'm sorry Jim, but it's for your own good," Bones whispers in his ear, glancing up at the rest of the bridge. Kirk follows his gaze and sees that the doctor is right – two security officers are blocking the door, looking fairly apologetic, stationed there in case he tries to bolt again. Kirk recognises one of them as Cupcake, and this little fact snaps him out of his daze. He lets go of Bones, and wipes his red eyes dry. He looks back at the doctor, noticing for the first time that there is some blood on the doctor's shirt.

"Jesus, Bones. You're bleeding. I'm sorry."

"The blood's yours, kid. Sorry, I must have grazed you when I took you down."

"It's ok. I've had worse." Kirk says absently, not really thinking. He feels lost again, like the world is spinning.

"I think you should just sit here." Uhura says, from behind him. Her voice is soothing, and relaxes him.

"I think that's a good idea. Sorry about the- you know." Kirk addresses the second sentence to the crew, who are looking at him in concern but what appears to be understanding. He doesn't see any resentment or scorn at his behaviour, which surprises him slightly. The fact that he thought his crew – his family – would reject him if they found out about his past seems foolish now; the reactive thought of the child he is reduced to whenever Tarsus is even mentioned.

"It's alright kid," McCoy says with a wry smile. "I've been telling you for years keeping things inside isn't healthy."

"I talk plenty," Kirk mutters with a mock scowl. The two of them glance at each other and laugh, Kirk slightly hysterically. Kirk's emotions are swinging up and down like a yo-yo.

"You know I can't let you go off by yourself." McCoy sobers them both up. "I know you too well Jim. First chance you'll be off to beat Kodos to death with your bare hands. You'll already have come up with a plan to sneak past any security we put on place. And when you want to do something that badly you tend to manage it."

"I haven't. You can just let me sleep. I can't stay on the bridge."

"You've stayed on the bridge for far longer than seven hours. This is the safest place for you. I don't want you by yourself – not just because of your homicidal intent, but also because you shouldn't be alone right now.

"I don't understand why you can't let me do this. He doesn't deserve to live. You can arrest me after."

"I don't want you to do it, but more importantly you don't really want to do it; if you could think rationally at the moment then you would agree with me. It won't make you feel better."

"But what if Starfleet let him go?" Jim whispers, and in that moment to Bones he sounds like Johanna, his daughter; he is seeking assurance and comfort in the same way she does when she's afraid or can't sleep.

"They won't. Not with you on the case. I imagine they'll give you a fair bit of input on how to deal with the situation," the doctor reassures. He hopes he is right.

"They didn't last time. They didn't even let me know he was alive!" Jim practically snarls. The sting of his betrayal by Starfleet is still painful.

"You're a captain now, not a fourteen year old kid." Bones points out. They both sit in silence for a minute, considering things.

"So you're going to make me sit here, in the bridge, so you can watch me?" Jim asks, because irritatingly this room has only a few exits.

"Got it in one. Maybe you are a genius after all. Go and sleep. I'll leave security at the door, so don't even think about pretending to sleep and sneaking out later. And no going for your padd – I know you're capable of killing through computer," McCoy insists.

"Alright mother. You want me to sleep in my chair?"

"Don't be silly. I got someone to bring you a sofa," McCoy sighs.

"You have a plan for everything, don't you?"

"I try."

Against advice Jim pretends to sleep. He doesn't think he could sleep even if he wanted to – his mouth is dry and his head is spinning and images he has pictured every night and images he hasn't thought of in years are swimming around his head. He wants to be sick but that would ruin his façade of sleep.

"Is it really necessary to keep him here?" Kirk hears Uhura ask quietly. He has to strain make out exactly what she is saying.

"It is logical. The captain is highly competent, and his desire to carry out his task is well above normal," Spock observes.

"Don't underestimate him, Uhura." Bones growls. "He's a devious bastard. Isn't that right, Jim?"

"The captain is asleep." Chekov points out.

"No. I've seen Jim Kirk asleep, and believe me he's only that peaceful when he's sedated," McCoy says wryly. "There isn't any point in pretending Jim, so you might as well actually sleep."

"I'm not tired," Jim snaps, sitting up. "It's the middle of the day for Christ sake. I'm not a child."

"Well you're acting like one. If you like I can sedate you. You'll wake up when we get there," Bones offers.

"No thanks. I don't like hypos."

"Then just sit. We could play eye spy?" Bones suggests, sounding uncommitted.

"I'm not a child!" Jim insists, because he is captain and an adult and competent, and he isn't fragile and he doesn't need other people he just likes having them around. He looks up at Bones. "I need to go to the bathroom."

"The security officers will escort you."

"To the bathroom?" Jim asks, mildly outraged.

"No arguing. You're not in charge here."

"I'm still captain." Jim points out sulkily, because this is his ship after all.

"At the moment Spock is captain. We just haven't made it official because we know that will upset you. We're just trying to take care of you Jim. Let us."

"Alright! I'll go with Cupcake and co to the bathroom!" Jim concedes, slightly grumpily.

He walks with his entourage slowly, trying to make them lose focus. They are too well trained. He makes a note to use Cupcake on more field assignments, because nothing seems to faze the man. Plus he's got a hell of a right hook – Kirk knows that first hand. Then he remembers that if all goes to plan he probably won't be assigning anybody anywhere. He stumbles and falls against not-Cupcake and they have to stop while he gets himself together. He takes a bit longer than usual but they don't lose patience – they just watch him. When they get to the bathroom Cupcake follows him inside, leaving the other security officer outside.

"Seriously? Kirk asks, because this is getting ridiculous. How is supposed to do anything while he has 24/7 surveillance? He has to do something. He remembers when Kodos came in after he had just been beaten for the first time and just stood there, watching him, in silence.

"I'm not spilling anything." Jim had choked out, because he still had his defiance at that point.

"You will. Because soon your violent little gang will be the least of your worries." Kodos had said. Then he had given a little chuckle and nodded to the men who had just stopped with the pain. "Give him another beating for that, right now. I don't think James here knows the gravity of his situation." That had been when good old fashioned fists were still being used – no whips or electricity or hot wires or….

"McCoy told me to watch you, sir." Cupcake says, pulling Kirk out of his thoughts. But he can still feel the phantom pain and utter helplessness of the past. He rushes over to the sinks and retches, the entire contents of his stomach coming up. Even after that he continues dry heaving. Eventually it stops and he washes away the vomit before washing his mouth out and splashing cool water on his face.

"Would you mind giving me a minute?" He asks Cupcake. "I just need a minute to get myself together." The man looks doubtful. "Look, there's only one exit. I can't go anywhere. Please." The plea sells his pitch and Cupcake nods and leaves.

As soon as he's gone Kirk goes into a stall and locks it, before climbing up onto the toilet and using that to climb up onto the top of the toilet stall. Once balanced he examines a panel in the ceiling. He knows his ship better than anything, so he knows that there is a shaft and crawl space above this area. He punches the ceiling until it gives way, glad it's just a covering and not made out of anything substantial. Then he pulls himself up into the space. It's a tight fit, but a fit. He shuffles along, going towards the corridor that the security officers aren't in. When he's shuffled far enough he pounds on the bottom of the shaft until it gives way, before dropping down into the corridor. It is deserted – a relief. He didn't want to have to try to explain what he was doing. He moves fast, aware that his little escape could be discovered at any minute.

He needs to get to the brig, before they put in any additional security (to stop him breaking in, because they don't need more security to stop break outs). He takes out the phaser he lifted from the security officer who wasn't Cupcake when he pretended to stumble and sets it carefully to stun. Then he sprints, taking the shortest path to the brig. The crew who see him glance his way but he doesn't stop. The run takes him about three minutes, which he thinks might be a record speed for the distance for him. Just before he enters the brig he catches his breath, then takes out the phaser. He feels bad for taking down members of his own crew but all they'll have is a bad headache.

He bursts into the brig and takes down all three of the guards, the one at the console first (so he can't call for help). He checks all the crew members, because he needs to make sure they're okay. Then he checks the cells one by one, glad that they have glass fronts so he doesn't have to open them; empty, empty, empty… He snarls, because he's checked all of them now and there is no Kodos, and that means he has been tricked and has to move out fast so that he can find out where Kodos actually is.

He is too late. As he turns round he catches site of Cupcake and then there is a flash and everything goes black.

**Please, please, please review! I'll try to update as quickly as possible but I'm a bit busy at the moment so I'm not sure exactly when the next update will be. I hope you liked it anyway.**


	3. Debate

**I am so sorry that I took so long to update – I've just been really busy and haven't had time for writing. I'll try to be quicker next time. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. **

Debate

Jim wakes back in the bridge. McCoy is sitting over him, looking unsurprised. The doctor was obviously expecting him to escape and attempt murder.

"Jim, you're awake," McCoy says, stating the obvious to start the conversation.

"Mmmmm…" Kirk agrees, noncommittal.

"We've arrived at Earth, and we're docked. I thought it was best that you slept for the journey." McCoy murmurs, uncharacteristically gentle. But the words still panic Jim – the plan was to kill Kodos before they got back to Earth.

"Where is he?" Kirk tries not to let the panic infect his voice, but he doesn't quite succeed.

"Kodos has been transferred into Starfleet custody. Spock set up a meeting between you and the Admirals – I'm going along as your doctor to keep an eye on you, and I'll go early to fill them in on everything that's happened face to face. You have to go and get changed and then you and Spock can beam down to Earth. Spock's already assigned leave to a majority of the crew, since we're back home. We'll be staying for a couple of days at least, until we get this mess sorted out." McCoy informs him, looking concerned. The clear information calms Kirk down. The forced sleep has let him get his thoughts straight, and he feels far more rational. In a way, he is glad that his crew stopped him. Bones is right, it isn't worth losing his ship to Kodos. The man shouldn't be taking anything else away from him. The meeting with Starfleet still worries him. He feels the anger flare back up at their deceit; there is also worry that they will let the monster go in exchange for any information about the Klingons.

Kirk doesn't say much after he knows what he has to do. He cleans himself up and beams down with Spock, who seems less distant than usual – he keeps glancing at Kirk to check he is alright. Jim doesn't know if he likes it or not. He doesn't like the idea that people have to worry about him.

The two of them walk to the meeting with the Admirals in a comfortable silence. Before they enter the room, Spock's gaze flickers over to Jim, and the Vulcan gives him a reassuring nod. The small gesture, significant for Spock, fills Kirk with warmth and confidence. Kirk hardens his expression into one of emotional stability, and steps in to his meeting with the Admirals. Bones is already there, looking tired.

"So. Nobody thought that I should know that Kodos was alive." Jim says slowly, trying to stay calm.

"That information was only made available to a small group of individuals." Admiral Archer replies, not looking at all apologetic.

"Now he's threatening to expose that. And me." Kirk retorts.

"It's not a secret that you were on Tarsus. In fact, I'm surprised that there hasn't been a story on it yet. Reporters usually catch on quickly. Now that you're in the public eye it's only a matter of time." Admiral Archer points out.

"It may not be classified information but it has been kept very much on the down low. People don't like to think about Tarsus. That's why it's hardly ever mentioned, or taught. It wasn't even touched upon in the Academy. If people know Kodos is alive then it will be splattered all over the front pages – and people won't care about Tarsus, they'll care about the cover up. I don't want that tragedy to be overshadowed by a scandal." Kirk's voice is low.

"It was hardly a cover up, just protected information. But I see your point." Archer concedes, sighing.

"The point is that we need to get him to tell us how to stop that information being released, and work out if he actually has any Klingon secrets." Jim says, getting straight to the point. He doesn't want this meeting to drag on.

"How do you propose that we do that?" Admiral Beckett asks, sceptically.

"Don't you have people for that sort of thing? Special drugs? We can always go the good old fashioned way and beat it out of him." Kirk states, trying not to sound too enthusiastic about the last option.

"Starfleet doesn't condone that." Admiral Beckett says sharply.

"Come on! Nobody even knows he's alive. We can do whatever to him and nobody will know." Jim says, knowing it's the truth.

"You don't mean that Jim. You just can't think straight. You don't agree with torture, ever. We talked about this years ago," McCoy says, speaking up for the first time. The doctor is clearly anxious about the direction of the conversation. "You said it couldn't be justified, no matter what the end results. You've always been adamant that torture was wrong."

"I remember what I said! Maybe I changed my mind. We need him to give us the information and there is no way in hell we are letting him go," Jim snaps back, his expression unreadable.

"We have some drugs that have been developed. But they aren't particularly effective." Admiral James chips in. "Interrogation drugs don't get funded because they would only work on humans, and we don't exactly have an abundance of Klingon volunteers to change that."

"Anyway, for drugs to work they need to be used in conjunction with other methods. That means we have to go in aggressively." Jim says, throwing his arms up in frustration.

"Kirk. We need to think about this carefully. Are we going to even consider his offer?" Archer questions.

"No," Kirk snarls. "He does not get any concessions. We don't make bargains with war criminals."

"What do you want us to do? We don't have interrogators of the nature you want. Starfleet has always upheld the human rights of captives."

"I want to speak to him," Kirk states.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Admiral Komack, says, although not unkindly.

"I deserve the chance to speak to him. For all you know I could get him to talk," Jim says, voice low.

"You'll hurt him." McCoy whispers, because he is afraid of what his friend could do. He doesn't like the slightly detached look in Jim's eyes.

"I won't do him much damage. I won't kill him. I'm less angry now I've had some sleep. I'm in control. I promise," Kirk says back, quietly, because he can tell Bones is upset by his thirst for violence. But that capacity for damage has always been there – thanks to Kodos, he has killed and maimed. He does it without regret.

"What makes you think you would be a good… negotiator?" Admiral Archer asks, choosing his words carefully.

"Because I know him. He doesn't think you'll let me anywhere near him, so it will throw him if I end up speaking for Starfleet. Plus he knows that I would have absolutely no problem putting him in the ground, which can't hurt," Kirk rationalises.

"That may be, Jim but you forget that he knows you. He seems to be able to get under your skin. You aren't in a good emotional state at the moment," Bones counters.

"My emotional state could be an advantage. It helps me think faster."

"Jim! The man has rights. You will regret it if you hurt him, you know you will. He's an unarmed prisoner."

"Don't talk to me about his rights!" Kirk yells. "He didn't even bother to take prisoners; he just shot people where they stood. And when he did take prisoners, he didn't give them any rights!" He realises that he is shouting, and lowers his voice. "I'm not going to do anything even on the scale of what he did to me. Kodos isn't tough, he hasn't been hardened by violence. It won't take much to turn him. And I'm an expert in pain."

"You've never tortured anyone before." Admiral Archer cuts in, looking confused.

"But I have been tortured plenty. I know what hurts, and what pushes you over the edge." Kirk rationalises. "With him, it won't be about pain. It will be about fear. And a bit of pain."

It's strange, but when the Admirals agree (because it's hard to say no to him) Jim doesn't feel any satisfaction. Just a strange pang of horror and dread and nausea that he pushes away so he can carry on functioning.

**Personally I am always against any form of torture – I think it's fundamentally wrong. I think Jim would be against it as a rule but he always does like to break rules, even if they're his own. Anyway please leave a review :)**


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